ain't no elves in this house

The Elves and the Shoemaker. It’s a great tale. The shoemaker cuts out all the leather, gets his tools ready for the morning work, and goes to bed. When he wakes up, the shoes are waiting for him. His work has been done. He can go through the rest of the day without worry or stress. Unfortunately for me, the elves and the shoemaker is just a story. Elves don’t come into your house and turn your fabric pieces into a beautiful dress when you leave your sewing machine out on the table.

Let’s start at the beginning. Last Saturday, my mom and I went to town so I could get a haircut and we could get pedicures. I picked out green polish, knowing I was graduating in a little over a week and that my cap and gown were Oregon green. After the beautification process, we went to Jo-Ann Fabrics to get some white fabric to protect my dad’s pool cover. When we were there, I saw that Vogue patterns were only $2.99. I found a perfect sundress pattern and decided to get it for my collection of patterns for when I become a real seamstress. Well, my mom saw it and said, “Let’s make it for your graduation.” My eyes got kind of big. I mentally calculated how much money was in my checking account. Then I counted the days until I was set to walk in my cap and gown. “Are you sure we can do it?” I asked. “Sure,” she said. So I went to the fabric section and I picked out pretty green fabric.

When I got home, I washed the fabric. Then I ironed the fabric, which my mom said I didn’t do very well. It’s true. I never was very great at ironing.

A few days later, I started to cut out the pattern and fabric pieces. This is only the second time I’ve ever cut out patterns and fabric. The first was to make an apron that is about two sizes too large for me.

The cutting continued for a few days. We’d run out of fabric and had to purchase more. Before we knew it, it was Saturday night. We were set to leave to Eugene at eight Sunday morning. That didn’t happen. Instead, my mom was up until three in the morning trying to help finish the dress. It’s not done. Right now at 9:22 Sunday, the pieces are still hanging over my Grandma’s old kitchen chairs. I am very little help. If I knew how to sew with any basic level, the sewing machine would be running right now. Instead, I dwell on the fact that my life isn’t a fairy tale and elves don’t come into my house to do work. Hmm. Maybe now that I’m an overeducated classroom assistant, I should learn how to sew with efficiency.